Thursday, January 10, 2013

Fresh start...

I decided this morning after a few weeks of moleing (sp) it over in my mind if I really wanted to do this.  I had come across a link on Pinterest titled, "All About Me" where questions provoke one to write down your own life's history.  I loved how it was broken down into actual questions rather than trying to come up with anything you think someone might be interested in reading.  I mean I am all about free writing, but my personality has a difficult time keeping track of timelines or if I've previously talked about a specific topic a few months earlier... So on and so forth.  My poor brain just can't handle the chaos of free writing mixed with journal keeping.  Even though I think both are extremely helpful in life.  I have blogged in the past, but usually kept it to picture posting and little blurps about what was happening in each picture.  I may or may not post actual pictures, but I hope to make this blog more meaningful in ways of experiences, lessons learned or to be learned, inspiring words and overall my general feelings in life.  I haven't really wanted to do this publicly because I truly have enjoyed privacy.  I've always had problems being able to express myself.  Somehow I created the idea that by telling other people my thoughts or feelings I am giving apart of myself away that I can never get back.  Having gone thru sets of friends for good or for bad, I grew tired of thinking too many people in the world know things about me that I wish I could get back...  If that makes sense?  I have been known to hide journals in my own home to prove I am so private... However I have become so fabulous at hiding them that I can't find them when I want/need to write.  Then I wind up grabbing whatever notebook or paper I can find which winds up making any kind of timeline almost impossible or even worse, just plain messy.  I know these are such first world problems! HA... I am hoping for more success in this overall process by creating a blog to maintain what I can't seem to on my own.  :) And I am hoping to let go some anxiety of the things I build in my head because I have chosen to shut my mouth.  Even now my anxiety increases as I think about actually posting this to social networks like FB.  Maybe I'll hold off just yet... Yes I am a chicken! I admit it.  That's the first step right?  Acknowledgement.  I am well aware trust me.  ;O